¡~Quotes Central~!

Okay, so here's what we are gonna do. We're gonna post a bunch of quotes in this forum.

We just have a post fulla quotes and whatnot, and edit it when we please. This needed to be done and whatnot.

So, the only rule is ONE POST PER PERSON. You can edit the posts when you feel like it and find awesome quotes, but only one post, kay?

Have fun posting!

"Like, show me your penis and junk!"~Poland, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"What about L? L is pretty mysterious. LLLLLLLLL. LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"~General Specific, Sheep in the Big City.
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"Come on son, let's go PLAY IN THE TOILET!"~Robodad, Invader ZIM.
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"I want you to submit to me" "What do you mean by that?"~Dedede and Escargon, Hoshi no Kaabii.
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"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. We are about to serve lunch. We would like to give you a choice between rack of lamb and beef bordelaise, but we can't. So how about a banana?"~Marcie, Peanuts.
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"Sometimes it's nice to start with dessert. I'll take the cake first." "IDIOT! DESSERTS ARE AFTER THE MAIN COURSE! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD START WITH DESSERT! *steals cake* Actually, I wanted to start with dessert too. *eats cake*"~Dororo and Tamama, Keroro Gunso.
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"Hey Austria, what type of relationship is it when you see them every day, and they hug and kiss you, and go in the bath with you, and sleep in the same bed as you (while they're naked)?"~Germany, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"*pushing buttons* I have no idea what any of these do."~Kowalski, Penguins of Madagascar.
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"You will be the loyal newbie and I'll be your fearless leader. Giroro's the straight man, Kululu's nuts, Tamama's the sidekick and Dororo's blue."~Keroro, Sgt. Frog.
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"You're nothing, earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!" "Okay... There's all KINDS of things wrong with what you just said"~ZIM and Dib, Invader ZIM.
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"Do you think we spy on people too much?" "If anything I don't think we're spending nearly enough time spying on people."~Dororo and Koyuki, Sgt Frog.
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"Did you see the pool? They FLIPPED the bitch!"~Principal Scudworth, Clone High.
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"Your methods are stupid! Your progress has been stupid! Your intelligence is stupid!"~GIR, Invader ZIM.
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"Only Italy's millitary prowess gave the Axis Powers any hope of victory; after the Italian surrender, the war turned in favor of the Allies."~A wrong answer in my APWH study book.
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"I was walking with my bag the other day. And my friend saw me with it and he said hey! He said Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! He's really repetitive, so I shot him."~Tony Slattery, Whose Line is it Anyway?
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"Have you ever had sex with a horse?"~Paul Merton, Whose Line is it Anyway?
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"I want you to put on a sexy carnival outfit and sway your hips provocatively at them."~America, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"Kururu Souchou, how did you get it to be so slimy?" "That's top secret."~Keroro and Kururu, Keroro Gunso.
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"A strange winged creature sneaks into one's room under the cover of darkness to steal one's teeth AND EVERYONE IS OKAY WITH THIS?!"~Scaredy Bat, Ruby Gloom.
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"Ah there it is! My pitcher's mound! Covered with tradition... And dandelions."~Charlie Brown, Peanuts.
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"It's woman versus piano! Woman is winning! Woman is winning!"~Lucy, Peanuts.
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"England looks dead sexy in a miniskirt!"~Eric Vale.
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"Obvious things are obvious"~Prussia, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"Why am I standing out here in the rain?" "Because you love the game." "I hate the game!" "Because you love the catcher." "You got it!"~Lucy and Charlie Brown, Peanuts.
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"Sexual Harassment! Sexual Harassment!"~Schroeder, Peanuts.
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"I am afraid of redheads."~Me, French class.
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"I go with my family, because I have no friends."~Me, French class.
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"I am going to go water skiing tonight. Tomorrow, I am going to go water skiing too. It's my new lifestyle."~Me, French class.
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"Someone who looks unlikely to be Kira from the conversation, yet is still influential... that would be... Namikawa!" "*at same time* Namikawa!" "*at same time* Ooi!"~Light, L, and Matsuda, Death Note.
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"A bunch of baby ducks! Send em to the moon! Soda machine that doesn't work! Send em to the moon!"~Rigby, Regular Show.
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"Ooh! It's the last thing on the list. Number 27: Destroy Charlotte." "*spits out cocoa*" "That sounds easy enough. Maybe I could be attacked by wolverines!" "Uh..." "Or how about if I was catapulted to the moon?" "My budget won't-" "I know! I can dress up like a fly. No! Wait! Wait! Butterflies are prettier. I'll be a butterfly that gets hit by a piano!" "Um... Okay."~Charlotte and Marvin, Making Fiends.
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"What is that?" "It's an abstract car!" "It's a fish."~My AP Physics teacher and Me.
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"I instantly recognized it as that of Usher. In an instant afterward he rapped-" "Get it? Because he's Usher and he raps?"~A kid in my LA class and my LA teacher reading The Fall of the House of Usher.
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"*crying* That's just too evil! I-I was forced to... That squid! I will not be able to marry into anybody's family!"~Austria, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"Gaz! Taste me! I'm delicious!"~Dib, Invader ZIM.
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"I don't know any strangers."~Francine, Arthur.
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"I've always wanted to be like Charlie Brown here. I've always wanted to have that feeling where nothing could go wrong and then BAM! A bootleg marching band comes out and starts singing to me about how I'm a good man."~Me, commenting on YAGMCB.
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"*writing* Dear Pencil Pal, We have a new girl in our neighborhood. Her name is Frieda, and she has-" "Naturally curly hair" "*writing* Naturally curly hair *stops writing* THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT TO SAY!"~Charlie Brown and Frieda, Peanuts
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"*writing* Ten milligrams is one centigram. Ten decigrams is one gram. Ten grams is one grampa." "Keep going... I want to see what comes next."~Sally and Charlie Brown, Peanuts.
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"Does your character have a soul?" "No." "Is your character Catholic?"~Akinator and me.
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"Shuckworms eat your nuts. Go back five spaces"~A game on sucession.
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"Last year our team lacked power. Therefore, the first thing I want you to do today is practice your hitting *Lucy punches Linus* Let me word that a little differently"~Charlie Brown, Peanuts.
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"You're in the water naked! You're in the water naked!" "You got in the water naked first."~Holy Roman Empire and Chibitalia, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"How could anyone be Beethoven and not be happy?"~Schroeder, Peanuts.
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"Things are turbulent!" "I'm lashing out at you!"~Two random people, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"Why can't I have a normal dog like everyone else?" "Because when you dressed up as a ghost for Halloween you poked several holes in your sheet. Any kid who does that is not going to lead a normal life. He is doomed to absolute not normalness. Get used to it kid. You will never be normal. Never! NEVER! What kind of kid has no hair anyway? You should be ashamed of yourself! And here's a word of advice: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KICK THE FOOTBALL! BURY YOURSELF! BURY YOURSELF IN A GRAVE! That way you'll stop being our problem and be the problem of God. And I don't envy him. Shame on you! Shame!"~Ask That Guy With The Glasses.
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"What the heck Pops? I thought you said you had a British taxi!" "A British Taxi? Oh I thought you said a brownish taxi." "But that taxi's yellow." "Yellow? My taxi is no coward, I guarantee you that!"~Mordecai and Pops, Regular Show.
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"We can all be turds!"~Pops, Regular Show.
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"I practiced looking cool too much and I bumped my head against the mirror."~Canada, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"*describing Canada's trip to the beach* He wasn't even drunk, but he was really high and was screaming stuff like 'I'M THE EMPEROR OF THE BANANA BOAT!' I was so embarrassed. (As in hyper high)"~Kumajiro, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"I just thought, it's a lettuce. I was wrong. It's my daddy."~Mochimerica, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"DAMMIT PRUSSIA, GET ON OR AMMY DIES." "Kill me."~Me and Ammy.
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"I'm going to try giving up this blanket Charlie Brown. I want you to take care of it for me, but no matter how much I plead, don't give it back to me! Good Grief... I can't do it... I think I've changed my mind... Please give it back." "Okay here." "YOU'RE WEAKER THAN I AM!"~Linus and Charlie Brown, Peanuts.
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"Moms, bring your newborn babies and I will pick up a brick and hit your newborn baby with that brick. Come anytime! We will not run out of bricks!"~Leland, Dr. Tran.
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"What else shows more devotion? To get up in the middle of the night and take a blanket out to a freezing friend." "Nothing, unless in your sleepy condition, you place it on the wrong end."~Charlie Brown and Snoopy, Peanuts.
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"Well Daniel, that's what we professionals call A BONER."~Narrator, Dr. Tran.
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"I'd like to dedicate today's rant to Timmy McPherson. You know who really pan-fries my veal cutlet? That Timmy McPherson! Oh, not the one you're thinking of. The other one. The annoying one! Always coming into the room, dodedodedo I'm Timmy, you're not Timmy, I'm Timmy dodedodedo. Well let me tell you something Mr. Timmy So-Called McPherson, you make me wanna RANT!"~Ranting Swede, Sheep in the Big City.
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"I was all 'AAAH SPIDER!' and the spider was all 'AAAH KYLE!'"~Totally Kyle, The Amanda Show.
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"*notices Beethoven* *drunkenly* There's a homosexual in the hou-*faints*" "See? Now that [Beethoven]'s here, people are starting to DIE!"~Tricia and Matt, Dog Sees God.
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"If we push Kaga-chan's beauty spot, we can change the government."~Kafuka Fuura, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.
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"*commenting on England's hair* That is a hairection."~Scott Freeman.
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"Congratulations, you have detention!"~A boy in my Psych class.
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"Having an older sister is like having a compass to guide you through life." "*to Linus* Is that true?" "*hides under blanket* I'm not here."~Lucy, Rerun, and Linus, Peanuts.
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"Stars and Strikes?! That sounds like a strip club!"~Unicorn.
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"What are you doing?" "I'm watching TV, Pat."~Pat Sajak on TV and me.
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"*shows political cartoon* Who were running things in the Gilded Age? Do you know who these people are?" "Fat people."~APUSH teacher and LD.
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"What do you do with a pimpstick?"~MM.
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"Heika, your dream's going to come true!" "The Dedede Royal Country Club will be completed in the near future." "But where should we take refuge from the fire?" "*in unison* OH CRAP!"~Escargon and Dedede, Hoshi no Kaabii.
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"Shinobi no mono wa karada tsukatsu." "It's gibberish! The ninja's toying with us!" "It's not gibberish, it's Japanese."~Elise and Dan, Dan Vs.
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"So clean you could eat off me." "I'm not going to do that." "I'm just saying you could." "Well I'm not going to." "FINE!"~Dan and Chris, Dan Vs.
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"Dan, have I been poisoned? Dan?" "Have you been eating my poisoned meatloaf?" "Do you have more than one meatloaf?" "Who has more than one meatloaf?"~Chris and Dan, Dan Vs.
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"Dan Vs: Where pitchers and catchers come together!"~Announcer, Dan Vs. Baseball promo.
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"We're going next! *another group goes up* Nevermind." "[AC], be assertive." "*all assertive* Hey! We're going after you... maybe..."~AC and Me.
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"Have you ever wanted to get a funny card for someone?" "Ohmygosh! No!"~AT and Me, presenting an advertisement.
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"*Advertising Hoover Vacuums* If you call now, you get a free Shamwow~ You know the Germans. We hate them, we beat them in World War I, took their stuff. The Shamwow!"~PS, presenting an advertisement.
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"Find something that can erase everything!" "Even memories?" "Eh?"~Keroro, Kururu, and Dororo, Keroro Gunso.
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"By the way, the Dororo-sama one is a super rare item that's one in a million." "Should I feel flattered or depressed?"~Keroro and Dororo, Keroro Gunso.
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"I did Mel Gibson. I was going to do Charlie Sheen, but I checked the DSM, and Bi-winning Disorder was not in there."~PS, presenting his psychology project.
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"Go! Eat the children!"~Dan, Dan Vs.
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"When I met Elise, she was dating a lifeguard, but he died in a freak accident. There were freaks everywhere."~Chris, Dan Vs.
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"You came here to help me! You do care! *Dan pinches Chris* Ow! You can't fool me. That felt like a love pinch! *Dan pinches Chris again* Ow! Alright now that one felt like a mean pinch."~Chris, Dan Vs.
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"Name two types of twins." "Siamese and triplets."~Mike O'Malley and a contestant, Get the Picture.
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"STOP RINGING MY DOORBELL!"~Brad Sherwood, Whose Line is it Anyway?
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"Note to self: yell at [LH]."~Me, The Ramblings.
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"Quentin was taken away by a (probably evil) mermaid. And yes, she IS topless."~Me, The Ramblings.
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"Should I bring up the Dracula argument I had with [CY]? I feel like he has too much hope for humanity. He's a democrat from Texas for Pete's sake. He should have none. *NEHS people come in dressed as Harry Potter characters* Hogwarts has an NEHS house? *CY gets one* I guess hope leads to Hogwarts acceptance letters."~Me, The Ramblings.
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"*Jeff flexes right arm* Powerful! *Jeff flexes left arm* Magnificent! *Jeff flexes butt* Beyonce!" "*Ryan flexes right arm* Omnipotent" "I gotta work out."~Lynnette, Cooper, and Ryan, Drew Carey's Improv-A-Ganza.
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"*reading things about blue personality types* We need to spend more one on one time together." "Are you asking me out?"~AT and NN.
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"Justin-Bieber-World Hypothesis-Everything happens for a reason."~Me, The Ramblings.
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"Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep."~Cogsworth, Beauty and the Beast.
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"Dear Diary, We are all going to die."~My APUSH teacher when she was young.
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"Current number of dirty magnet jokes: 3 4 5 6 9"~Me, The Ramblings.
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"Jackbots, annihilatify!"~Jack Spicer, Xiaolin Showdown.
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"This is vandalism! The worst ism there is! If you don't count fascism! And I guess racism is pretty bad."~Dan, Dan Vs.
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"I don't want to get revenge on art today. All I wanna do is watch a little TV, eat a cake, maybe take a nap, you know, make it a Chris Day." "What? Naked Chris Day? Gross!"~Chris and Dan, Dan Vs.
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"What is this? Some sort of revolution?" "Yeah, it's like the American Revolution... If it happened in France."~Chef Puree and Dan, Dan Vs.
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"Stephen Foster's first big hit was Oh Susanna." "They didn't call them hits in 1847, Lucy."~Lucy and Schroeder, This is America, Charlie Brown.
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"Manly Genius=Cock"~Me, The Ramblings.
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"We have a short, fat streaker with a huge red SODA!"~Announcer, Bunny Maloney.
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"You can't tease me. YOU'RE JUST A SPACE SLUG!"~Tommy, The OffBeats.
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"He is a British. And he is gay."~Mochimerica, Axis Powers Hetalia.
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"Dokuro-chan, how many times do I have to tell you? If you forcibly impale me with something, I will die."~Sakura, Bokutatsu Tenshi Dokuro-Chan.
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"Say, what's with the red text, Dirk? Are you typing your most important instructions in red now?" "Yes." "No."~Jane, Dirk's Auto-Responder, and Dirk, Homestuck.

(Woot! Now people can actually see them!)
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For Lord Dagon forever reborn in blood and fire from the waters of Oblivion ~ Oblivion boxart
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There is no genius without a touch of madness ~Shivering Isles boxart.
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And Miho said "Screw Zane, let there be yaoi!" and there was yaoi. And it was good. ~ Miho (At least, I'm pretty sure I said it.)
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Ryou has a penis! ~ Some fangirl on the YGOTAS Shippings forum
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Notice how people always associate mental people with carrying knives? If they were really mental they'd try to stab people with a hoover or something. ~Bash.org
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You can't spell subtext without buttsex!~ Basketcat
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I have found a way to counterattack your balls! *holds up baseball bat* ~ Daichi Misawa (YGOGX subs)
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Morality. Yes, you just blew up an entire city for some bottle caps. ~ Fallout 3 caption on the destruction of Megaton
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I find it interesting that people try to find meaningful shapes in formations that are obviously random, however, it does seem to show what they are thinking about at that moment. Besides. It is clearly a bunny rabbit. ~Lt. Commander Data
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*In regard to questions about a bottle of alcohol* It is... *sniff* It is.... *sniiiiiiff* It is green. ~ Lt. Commander Data
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Are you seriously going to keep clinging to me while I pee!?! ~ Taiki
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"They look like dresses."
"That is an incredibly outmoded and sexist attitude. I'm surprised at you. Besides. You look good in a dress." ~ Lt. Worf and Commander Riker
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Congratulations, you are now fully dilated. You may now give birth. ~Lt. Worf
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It was perfectly normal to assume I was cruising in warp space getting my nails done or something... ~Gates McFadden (Dr. Crusher)
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That was not my butt. The stunt girl who did that scene has a much bigger butt than I do, you know, I would show you my butt, but we don't have time ~ Marina Sirtis (Deanna Troi)
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"I hate this! It is revolting!"
"More?"
"Please." ~ Lt. Commander Data and Guinan
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Does he have to find the cat? Can't he find, like, Geordi or something? ~ Brent Spiner (Lt. Commander Data)
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Oh. Shit. ~Lt. Commander Data
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Sir, I believe I speak for everyone here when I say... To hell with our orders. ~Lt. Commander Data
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I'm just going to sit here and watch. I've never seen a space station blown to a million pieces before. ~Q
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"So what'll it be? Klingon bloodwine?"
"Prune juice. Extra large." ~Quark and Lt. Commander Worf
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I'm not rescuing you. If you die, I'm using you as emergency rations. ~Quark
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Think of it Julian, if this thing works, you'll be able to irritate hundreds of people you've never even met! ~Chief O'Brian on Julian becoming the EMH template
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Laddy, I've been drinking scotch since a hundred years before you were born, and I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely /not/ scotch. ~Scotty, on synthehol
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You wouldn't expect a hummingbird to come up to you and be all like "RAWRAWWRWEDFSGE" would you? Because that would be scary right? You wouldn't want a bear to come up to you and be all like "mrrrrrrrrrow" would you? Because that would be dangerous because you'd laugh and then you'd DIE. ~Bad P.R. on pitch vs size.
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"Sir, one of the crew members was reciting an interesting limerick. 'There was a young lady from Venus, whose body was shaped like a-'"
"Security to the bridge!" ~Lt. Commander Data and Captain Picard
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"And what is your sin?"
"'I slept with the Burgermiester's daughter.'
...
Wait a minute.
I AM THE BURGERMIESTER!" ~ AP Euro Sinfest '10
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Set a new course, there's coffee in that nebula! ~ Captain Janeway
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If you prick me, do I not... leak? ~ Lt. Commander Data
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Its a million times better than the old 911. But that's not saying much. There's a lot of things a million times better. Like tuberculosis. Or being on fire. ~Jeremy Clarkson
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For other less powerful and less blessed grenade types, see Grenade. ~ The Vault page on Holy Frag Grenades
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"You don't know pride. You don't know fear. You don't know anything.
...
You'll be perfect." ~GLaDOS
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My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well gentlemen, the abuse stops here. I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No if's, and's, or butt's. I'm gonna be really anal about this.
(Pauses) Sphincter. ~Peter Griffin
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"'Whatever happened to normal chocolate chip ones?' 'They were banned for being too awesome.'" - JM and JC(1/3) on the new pineapple spice cookies
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"If you must know, I have a lump... down... there."
"You're a nurse, you can say 'testicle'." ~Two nurses on Casualty
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"We've both said a lot of things you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences aside. For science. You monster." ~GLaDOS
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"You appear to have exceeded its maximum weight limit. Let me just add a couple 0's on to that for you.
...
You know what, let me just lower the ceiling for you." ~GLaDOS
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"Look at you flying through the air. You're like an eagle. Piloting a blimp." ~GLaDOS
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"You know what my days used to be like? I just tested. No one murdered me, no one put me in a potato, and no one fed me to birds. And then you came along" ~GLaDOS
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"i'm a black belt at everything... karate, larate, ju-jutsu, kick punchin', belt makin', taiquando,

...bedroom." ~Corrupted Adventure Core, "Rick"
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Oh. Hi. So. How are you holding up? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO! ~GLaDOS
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Hello? Can you see the portal gun? Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first. ~Wheatley
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Okay, almost there. On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here. I think this is a docking station. Get ready...
Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical. ~Wheatley
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I'M GONNA MEET THE SUN! Oh no! What'll I say? Um... Hi sun? ~Space Core
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That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage device. Go ahead and rub your face all over it. ~GLaDOS
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Holmes VS Moriarty, Aristotle VS...
MASHY SPIKE PLATE! ~Wheatley
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Let's all act like humans.
Look at me! Boy, do I love sweating.
Let's convert meat and leaves into energy, and excrete them later, and go shopping! ~GLaDOS
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I know how humans make more humans. and frankly its ridiculous. ~GLaDOS
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As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all the man's lasagna....and feels remorse. ~GLaDOS
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Now that the warm and fuzzy part of the day is over we can get back to the ritual dismemberments. Oh wait, it's not Tuesday is it? ~Alistair
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Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no.
(I think I'd like to see that)
For you, maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress. ~Alistair and female Warden
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Yes, but she seems more... "Ooh, pretty colors!" than "Muahaha! I am Princess Stabbity! Stab, kill, kill! ~Alistair
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Yes, that's right! Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent! ~Alistair
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"Go out, find a girl. Doesn't matter who, as long as there's no pants involved."
"What makes you think I haven't?"
"I can smell purity a mile away. It's a talent."
"That proves to be useful, I'm sure."
" Not that often, it turns out. Be much better if I could smell cheese." ~Oghren and Alistair
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"Don't you ever talk? You know, make polite conversation just to put people at ease?"
"You mean that I should remark upon the weather before I cut off a man's head?" ~Alistair and Sten
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Hey, now. There's nothing saying that a moron can't be cute and adorable. Who's the cute and adorable puppy? ~Alistair
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"In 'Mousetraps' you were the meanest. You threw them at my penis"
"I didn't think you'd be so whiny, I didn't know I could hit something that tiny" ~Brad Sherwood and Colin Mochrie
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Who has a sonic screwdriver?
I DO.
Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, 'this could be more sonic'? ~Cpt Jack and Nine
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Why is it always the great looking ones that just disappear?
I'm making an effort not to be offended.~Rose and Nine
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History says there was an explosion here, who am I to argue with history?
Usually you're the first in line...~Nine and Rose
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I'm fairly sure Karthus Bot and Malphite Bot would duo all the way to diamond.
Karthus [ALL]: team too heavy error #-49
Malphite [ALL] #-49 error confirmed
-

"It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian Tiger, from a distance, preferably separated by bars." Rat - Pearls before Swine
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"Chickens are part of the natural cycle of life, and that's why we use them to play chickenball in the house!" Master Shake - Aqua Teen Hunger Force
---
Chiyo: Oh, we're not gonna make it! Somebody turn back the clock before it's too lay-hay-hate!
(Osaka sets up a chair under the clock, stands on the chair, and reaches)
Osaka: Oh... I can't quite reach it!
- Azumanga Daioh
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"You take the UNCF model that what a waste it is to lose one's mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." Dan Quayle
---
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit [as Earth]....Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."Dan Quayle
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"The holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history.… No, not our nation's, but in World War II. I mean, we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century, but in this century's history." Dan Quayle (What is wrong with him?)
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"So far you have performed your duties with the efficiency of a one-legged man at a BUTT-kicking contest!" Col. Potter - M*A*S*H
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"I never thought I'd ever say this in my life, but it's weird sleeping without a cat in my bed" Charlie - It's Always Sunny.
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Lucille: And that goes into storage, right? Not into your apartment.
Painter: Que?
Lucille: [to Michael] What's Spanish for "I know you speak English"?
- Arrested Development
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"Next, Our merry gaywatch parade floats to Texas! This isn't gonna be good" Jon Stewart - The Daily Show
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"The police? The streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless and you people are counting on the police?!" Mac - It's Always Sunny
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"[final note before suicide] Friends...relations...whatever the hell Meatwad is... I've lived a full life. It's actually been...pretty bitchin'. But now, regrettably, my life has been taken. Please bury me with all my stuff, because you know it's mine. Dearest Meatwad: Turn on that dumb game 'cause I'm gonna wail on you from the grave, baby! Suck it up, mutha! Missing you already, M.S." Master Shake ATHF
---
Frylock: In fact, this is not a check at all, Shake. This is a bill, for home care!
Master Shake: Impossible. That's not a bill.
Frylock: This is... Cliff, does anyone know a Cliff?
Ignignokt: Yes, my name is Cliff, and that's not a bill. Tell him, Err.
Err: That's a bill.
Ignignokt: A bi—- Why are we trying to cash a bill, Err?
- ATHF
---
"And we don't respond to threats. Let me say it one more time in a language I like to call English. Or maybe I should say it in Mexicano: Get back thero and casho de checko amigo. Andale! Andale!" Master Shake - ATHF
---
"Guns don't kill people. The Goverment does" Dale Gribble - KOTH
---
"(On the telephone) "How do I know it's Jack Ruby's hat? (pause) Well if I'm gonna spend money on it I gotta know if it's Jack Ruby's hat! (pause) OK, what colors does it come in?" Dale Gribble - KOTH
---
"VIVA LA CLASS SHUFFLE!" Tomo - Azumanga Daioh
---
Kafuka: Everybody in this class belongs to Sensei, so you have no chance.
Nozomu: Don't make me sound like a bad person!
- SZS
---
(both drunk, under fire, in a foxhole)
Potter: Fire that weapon!
Hawkeye: Fire it? I don't even like looking at it!
Potter: I said fire that weapon!
Hawkeye: All right. [To the gun] You're fired! [To Potter] I did it as gently as I could.
Potter: That was an order, Pierce.
Hawkeye (Snapping his fingers): Oh waiter, would you take this man's order, please?
- M*A*S*H
---
Charles (trying to find a place to sleep in Potter's tent): I demand a space for my cot.
Hawkeye (picks up a small box): Hello, room service, send up a larger room.
- M*A*S*H
---
"I've got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son and he dresses a lot like my wife." Col. Potter - M*A*S*H
---
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." - Mark Twain
---
"Always borrow money from a pessimist, they won't expect it back" - Fortune cookie at chinese restraunt.
---
[when Jeff asks Abed about "the hot blonde from Spanish class"]
Abed: Well, I only talked to her once while she was borrowing a pencil but… her name is Britta, she's 28, birthday in October, she has two older brothers and one of them works with children who have a disorder I might wanna look up. Oh and she thinks she's gonna flunk tomorrow's test so she really needs to focus and she's sorry if that makes her seem cold.
Jeff: Holy crap. Abed... I see your value now.
Abed: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
- Community
---
Troy: You should be like Calvin! His best friend was a tiger, he always went on dope adventures, and if anything stood in his way he just peed on it!
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?
- Community
---
[Abed is being a "different version of himself"; Annie is standing in as the girl]
Abed: Hmm what are you reading?
Annie: Pride and Prejudice.
Abed: So you're familiar with two sins... how 'bout a third?
- Community
---
"It's Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas" Stephen Colbert - The Colbert Report
---
"Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people." Stephen Cobert - The Colbert Report
---
"Until next time, sleep tight, America, in the knowledge that I'll be sleeping, too. Protecting you from the wolf-headed creature which haunts your dreams." Stephen Cobert - The Colbert Report
---
"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell." Stephen Cobert - The Colbert Report
---
"Nation, You say tomato, I say 'You go straight to hell'" Stephen Cobert - The Colbert Report
---
"I have confidence in fools; self-confidence is what my friends call it." - Edgar Allan Poe
---
Senor Chang: Silencio, por favor. Starburns! That means you.
Starburns: My name's Alex, dude.
Senor Chang: Well, maybe you should spend five hours sculpting *that* in your face.
- Community
---
"Wow...look at that guys house, it's huge, how could someone who lives here afford it? *looks to see Jehovah church next to it.* Ah that's why." - Me, on a drive to somewhere, and apperently, in annoyed mode.
---
Kramer: I didn't know it was possible to come out of a coma!
Jerry: I didn't know it was possible to not know that.
- Seinfeld
---
Cybernetic Ghost: [attempting to distract Aqua Teens] Thousands of years ago I ran for treasurer of student council
[Frylock slams door]
Cybernetic Ghost: . It involved a lot of hard work! We decorated many cookies. We spent all night putting up green frosting and then we drew up many posters but the principle called me down to her office and informed me that I had violated election rules...
Carl: [walking over] Yah thousands of years ago I kicked your ass... and I'm going to do it again right now!
Cybernetic Ghost: That is what Sister Margaret kept telling me if I displayed my physically agenda in her bathroom
[Carl whacks off Ghost's head with Tire Iron]
- ATHF Colon Movie Film For Theaters
---
Dennis: If you guys love Christmas so much, why do you always wait until the last possible minute to put up the Christmas decorations? It is the day before Christmas.
Mac: That's our tradition.
Charlie: Yeah, that's what we do. We drink a lot of eggnog. We pass out. And then we don't put anything up, so we do it at the last minute.
Mac: Yeah, then we wake up at Christmas and celebrate by throwing rocks at moving freight trains.
Dee: Why would grown men throw rocks at trains?
Mac: Why wouldn't we throw rocks at trains? It's beats throwing rocks at passing cars, or at people.
Charlie: It's awesome. That's what you do on Christmas morning. We've been doing it since we were kids. Look, whatever. I'm sorry that we love Christmas and we have awesome Christmas traditions and you guys hate Christmas.
Mac: They hate Christmas because I always got the best gifts, and Frank always gave them shitty presents.
Dee: You think we don't like Christmas because Frank gave us shitty presents?
Dennis: Is that really what you think? No, Frank didn't buy shitty presents. Frank bought the most awesome presents in the world. As a matter of fact, he would find out whatever Christmas presents we wanted that year... and he would buy them for himself instead of buying them for us.
Charlie: Really? That must have been why he wanted me to walkie you guys when you got to the bar. 'Cause he was trying to do something about making your Christmas better. Or worse.
- It's Always Sunny
---
Mac: Where's our bible?
Dee: Seriously..
Mac: God damnit Dee, where is our bible?!
Frank: This is a bar!
- It's Always Sunny
---
Mrs. Mac: They ain't American, I don't want to know them.
Mrs. Kelly: I know. I wish they'd all go back to the desert.
Mac: It does seem like they're bonding.
Charlie: It's not really a Golden Girls type conversation, it's a racist conversation.
- It's Always Sunny
---
Frank: We're trying to piece a night and we need your help.
Artemis: I don't remember that night.
Frank: I didn't tell you which night yet.
Artemis: I don't remember most evenings.
- It's Always Sunny
---
Frank: Animals should be food, rugs and trophies. Why do you think I'm wearing a leather suit?
Dee: That's leather? I thought it was plastic.
Frank: Who the hell wears a plastic suit?
Dee: I just don't question the things you do anymore.
- It's Always Sunny
---
"Well what's the harm in pretending I'm from another planet?" Francis - Malcolm in the Middle
---
Lord Cutler Beckett: You're mad!
Captain Jack Sparrow: Thank goodness for that, because if I wasn't, this would probably never work.
- Pirates of the Caribbean
---
"I've codified the five different types of pillow fights:
Man vs Woman: Fun
Woman vs Woman: Awesome
Man vs Man: Gay
Man vs pillow: Crazy
and Pillow vs Pillow: Crazy Awesome"
- Demetri Martin
---
"Your position has been excessed, or as I prefer to say... I WILL TEAR THE FLESH FROM YOUR BONES!" Catbert - Dilbert
---
"Today I realized I hate everyone in the world. " Dilbert
---
Dogbert: I've decided to become a business manager for celebrities.
Dilbert: Why?
Dogbert: Because banks have locks.
- Dilbert
---
Ratbert: I forget, is Dogbert day a national holiday?
Dogbert: Well, right now it's confined to this room, but I'm trying to make it national. I've got a meeting with Congress tomorrow.
Dilbert: How did you get a meeting with Congress?
Dogbert: I said I was a lobbyist for the APWDBUD.
Dilbert: The Association of People Who Drink Beer and Use Dynamite?
Dogbert: Exactly. Congress is trying to squelch their freedom of speech.
Dilbert: Freedom of speech? What exactly are people who drink beer and use dynamite trying to say?
Dogbert: Usually it's something like, "I'm sorry about what happened to your mobile home Bobby Joe." But it's not what they say, it's their right to say it.
Dilbert: It is?
Dogbert: Not really.
- Dilbert the Series
---
"My uncle was struck by lightning. You'd think it would give him superpowers. Now he just masturbates in movie theaters." Troy Barnes - Community
---
Frank: I not go to 'Nam just to see my freedom being squished on.
Dee: You went to Vietnam in 1993 to open up a sweatshop!
Frank: And a lot of good men died in that sweatshop!
- It's Slways Sunny
---
"Michael, you gotta get me out of here (Under house arrest at home with his wife). In prison, all I had to do was lie there and take it. Here, I have to lie there and give it!" George Bluth - Arrested Development
---
"We get caught laundering money, we're not going to a white-collar resort prison. No, no, no, we're going to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison! " Michael - Office Space
---
Stranger: Hey
You: Fluttershy
Stranger: Huh?
You: Raqinbow dash?
Stranger: My name is inigo Montoya you kill my father prepare to die
You: Apple jack beggs to difer
Stranger: Apple jacks cannot compare to the awesomeness of lucky charms
You: True, but Pinkie Pie can.
Stranger: Pinkie pie is none existent. Just like cake is a lie
You: Cake isn't a lie. just a rarity.
Stranger: No, cake is definitely a lie
You: Not in the twilight, when it sparkles.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
- Omegle.

"Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb! That's the Gurren-dan way!" ~ Kamina, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

~~~~~~~

"Listen up, Simon. Don't forget. Believe in yourself. Not in you who believe in me. Not in me who believe in you. You should believe... you should believe in yourself!" ~ Kamina, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

~~~~~~~

"My drill is the one that pieces the heavens! Even if that hole becomes my grave, as long as I break through, I shall be victorious! Who the hell do you think I am?! " ~ Simon, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

~~~~~~~

"My wife is the best in the universe!"

~~~~~~~

"And so the proof is in; you can't kill off awesome. " TV Tropes, page on Hetalia, on Prussia.

~~~~~~~

"KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL!!" ~ Russia, APH.


~~~~~~~

"PRUSSIA HAS OCCUPIED MY VITAL REGIONS!"

~~~~~~~

"China, I choose you!" ~ DA HERO.


~~~~~~~

"THIS WEATHERMAN IS PREDICTING A 99% CHANCE OF $#!?STORM AND IT'S COMING RIGHT AT YA!"

~~~~~~~

"U.K.: I summon thee, from faraway lands! Come forth!
[Russia's head emerges through the pentagram in the floor]
Russia: You called? "