Let me tell you about a girl named Kate

I was talking to Splodey about my trip last year to Chicago with my AP Art History class, and decided to post it here since i have nothing better to do during lunch. I have now started the Kate phenomena

So as I was saying, last April our class went to Chicago to review for the exam for the college credit. There are two teachers with us, Zmom and White, and 9 students. Important people will be Me, Kate (obv), Roommate and Asian Guy. Some background information, I have known Kate since 7th grade, but she is a year higher than me and we never see each other outside of chance. The only class I had with her was this AP Art History class, and basically everyone in the class hated her. Roommate and I were the only people who would put up with her.

The drive to Chicago was not so bad, aside from the fact that I had to sit in the very back with Kate. I have my music on loudly so that she won't talk to me, however she takes off her shoes and sits cross legged in her seat. Note: she hardly, if ever, bathes. So feet and crotch smell hit my nose. No. Stop. Put your shoes back on. When we stop for a lunch break, Kate is the last one in, therefore, there is no seat for her at the tables for 4 the rest of us were sitting at. I felt sort of bad, but the teachers sat next to her. Nobody likes her. I switch to the other van to get away from her. Tiff and Asian Guy are in this van, along with all the other cool people. I have to sit in the very back with Asian Guy, and he is kind of an asshole. As soon as we stop I switch back, but he follows. But this is not about him.

We had been planning this trip for months. The other four girls roomed together, then the two boys had their own room, then the two teachers had a suite, and then it was me, Roommate and Kate in one room. Everyone already knew since we were the only people who could tolerate Kate we would be rooming. She told me months before that she would gladly sleep on the floor. As soon as we got to the room to sleep, she says "I WILL SLEEP ON THE FLOOR." The all caps is not an exaggeration. She literally speaks like everyone in the room is deaf. if you want an accurate idea of how she talks, think about Sloth from The Goonies. We say whatever and climb into bed. The next morning there is a meeting in the teachers' suite. She immediately goes and whines to White, "THEY MADE ME SLEEP ON DA FLOOR " and of course, we told her the truth and White brushed her off.

Our room when down to the hotel's restaurant to get breakfast. When we were done, I offered to pay for everyone's breakfast. Roommate gratefully accepted, but when the waitress came to give us our check, Kate said, "SPLIT IT IN THREE". So I only paid for Roommate. Kate really should have let me pay for her, because she ran out of money at Navy Pier and had to borrow some from Zmom (which she never paid back).

We spent the whole day wandering around the Art Institute's museum, and I literally mean all day. My legs and feet were in extreme pain from walking so much, and most of us were pretty tired. But Asian Guy wanted to walk the two miles to Lake Michigan. So we did since we were done with all the educational stuff. Once we had reached the lake, we walked along it's shore until we got to Navy Pier, where I was finally able to sit down and calm enough to eat (I had skipped our group dinner earlier because i was very agitated). I sat with Zmom while the others went looking around the Pier. Unfortunately Kate joined us. She will speak any chance she gets, so she was sprouting off all this ~special snowflake~ stuff about herself. Christ.

Since we had walked so far away from where we had started, we were now lost. It took us forever to get back to the train to get outside the city and back to the hotel. It was 11 when were pulled up to the hotel, and we had left at 9:30 that morning.

Class is going to start soon. I must go. Part 2 when I come home later.

What, your hotel didn't have a free continental breakfast? Even the motels down here have at least a cereal bar, some bagels and pancake batter....

Should I link her FF.n account?

Fakir wrote:

Should I link her FF.n account?

Who? Moss's or Kate's? Is the story fictitious?

if you don't post her ffnet i'll punch you in the face because it's hilarious

Alright back to it.
Hey speaking of Roommate, I just saw her at McDonalds today.

So that morning I woke up before Kate and Roommate. General rule of the rooms were, whoever woke up first got to use the shower first, so I went to go take my shower. As I was getting my stuff out of my bag and all of a sudden, Kate jumps up (she slept naked by the way, but because of some sleeping issues would wake up in the middle of the night and put on underwear) and runs into the bathroom. I'm irked, but it's not that big a deal. 15 minutes pass and the water isn't running and I'm thinking that I need her to hurry up so we can get going. She finally comes out, without any sound of water, and lays back down and goes to sleep??? I'm like whatever, I go into the bathroom to take my shower. I pull up the toilet seat and. there. is. one. of. the. biggest. poops. i have. ever. seen. I try to flush it and it won't go down because of cheap hotel plumbing. I sit down on the edge of the tub and think about how I can make it go down so I can just get through the rest of the day before we get home. Well, I'll save you the details, but I managed to get it down and take a through shower.

I get out of the shower and Roommate is still sleeping, but Kate is blaring cartoons on our TV. This ticks me off because we're in one of the cheapest hotels with paper thin walls plus Roommate is still trying to sleep after not feeling well and having a very exhausting day. I ask her to turn it down a bit then sit down on my bed and read a book while I wait for Roommate to wake up so we can go get breakfast. Kate sits down next to me and I can smell her nasty stench, but I make no comment. Eventually Roommate wakes up and goes to take a shower, but like the considerate person she is, she asks Kate if she wants to go first. "NO I ALREADY TOOK A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GUYS WOKE UP." Obviously untrue, since she stuck to high heaven and the shower was dry before I took one.

Once Roommate comes out she tells me that she has to get away from Kate and that she is annoying the hell out of her. She is also not feeling well at all and wants to get some medicine. I agree, so we decide to walk across the street to the CVS then eat breakfast and the Dunkin' Donuts in the parking lot. Unfortunately, Kate tags along with us. We cannot escape this girl. When we get to the CVS, Roommate goes to the medicine section and I stop to look at snacks and cheap makeup for fun. Kate wanders off somewhere in the store. I get caught up looking at things and talking to a friendly black lady looking at the makeup, and soon I notice that I don't see Roommate or Kate. I look through literally every isle, and cannot find either of them, so I leave. Roommate is at the Dunkin' Donuts waiting for me so we go in and buy our donuts and eat at a table. Our other classmates soon join us and we are all eating and talking and having a good time, until we see Kate coming in. "YOU GUYS DITCHED ME," she says. I tell her that I looked for her before I left and couldn't find her and she should've texted or called me. I get up to buy some donut holes for the trip back home later and she takes my seat, so Roommate and I head back to our room.

After a meeting in the teacher's suite, we get a few hours to wander around town before we leave. So Roommate and I try to get away from Kate. We went to Coldstone and saw her walking down the street and we ducked down so she wouldn't see us. One time she actually found us and we were able to ditch her by going through an alley. We managed to avoid her until it was time to leave. Roommate was progressively getting worse and when we were back in Iowa stopping at the World's Largest Truck Stop or whatever Mazz calls it, she was really bad. The teacher took her temperature and she had a very high fever and we had to get her home asap so she could go to the doctor. We loaded everyone into the vans and went on our way. Roommate sat in the very back with me while we took care of her. During this time Kate kept trying to get the attention back on herself. Finally Zmom told her that Roommate was really sick and we had to take care of her and she didn't have time to deal with Kate. She finally shut up but pouted and sulked the whole time.

Anyway we got back home and Roommate's mom took her to the doctor and turns out the poor girl had mono.

And that is the end of my Chicago trip story.

Here's her FF.n guys.
I only read a few of her XS stories but holy shit I laffed.

This is the official Kate thread

We were allowed to sit anyway in the middle columns of the classroom during AP Art History but Kate always sat next to me. On this particular day, Kate was sitting between me and Tiff (although this never happened again, and I got to sit next to Tiff, which I was happy about). During class, Zmom would lecture and show us a slideshow of the paintings we were studying and then ask us questions about what we saw or thought. Note: the only paintings Kate ever liked were the Van Goghs, because of the Doctor Who episode. We were past Van Gogh at this point.

Anyway, Zmom asked Tiff what she thought about one piece and she just said "I think it's stupid."

"That's ok," says Zmom, as she is going to explain the piece to us, but then Kate blurts out, "IT'S NOT STUPID!!!"

Tiff replies, "Well, you're stupid."

Kate then shuts up, but then starts sniffling loudly, obviously trying to get attention. Finally Zmom asks her if somethings wrong. "SHE CALLED ME S T U P I D !!!" and she starts crying. Zmom makes Tiff apologize but everyone in the room is like "omg grow a backbone you attention whore"

Her first story published on ffnet is something called "NINJA HIGH" in all caps like that

the lovely description says: "five girl are sent to live with their aunt who is a teacher at ninja high. the girls are called 'the five demons'. there might be guyXguy but its M for Hidan. the charecters are the same personalitys but its funny. a few chapters are."
Oh wait this is actually Naruto AU fanfiction loud sobbing

the first "chapter" is a bunch of profiles for Naruto characters in the AU. ok normal? sort of. contains some asshole gold like these:

"Zetsu: junior, twin, canable, bipolar" whispers zetsu is not bipolar you should never make a character have a serious mental disorder

her self-insert: "Kat: freshman, able to read minds" wow when did she become telepathic.

"Deidara: senior, science nerd (EXPLOTIONS)" whats an explotion do you maybe mean explosion

"Kida: freshman, assassin in training" oh sounds like a perfectly normal high school student

"Sasuke: freshman, gay, emo" i'm going to pee

"Sai: freshman, gay, carries scrolls full of ink and paintbrushes" sighs

chapter two is apparently the same thing?? ok then

the next chapter is the prologue of the story.

her ocs kill people

" "What you guys did was horrible!" shouted Saphire.

Kida looked at her, then at the rest of them. "I don't know, I think we did very well today."

True and Altin nodded.

"We killed about 35 cops, 20 schoolmates, 4 teachers, and our foster mothers." Altin reminded. " wow.

" The man acknowledged their decision with a nod, then turned to leave. But before he could get all the way out the door, True and Kida restricted his movement and snapped his neck.

Altin tossed a hidden knife to Kida, where she drew the blade swiftly across his neck. True pulled out three long vials and scooped up the officers blood until the vials were full.

"Thank you kind sir." She said, bowing slightly as the five were taken away to their new life. " wow this is messed up

the next chapter starts out with this author note: "Kat: last chapter was written by True. I only own the name Kat and the plot… True, Altin, Kida, Saphire, and Ayame are my friends in real life and they chose their 'names'. Now it's in my point of view until I say otherwise."

I knew it

" "Ewh-My-Goud! Did you like see Naruto?" a pink haired girl said.

"Ewww! That's like soo GROSE!!!" the blond girl answered.

I got dragged out of the room by a blond boy.

"Hi, I'm Naruto and I'm gunna be the next President!" Naruto shouted. " uh whats a grose isnt that the guy from legend of zelda

I'm about to piss she ends the chapter with this author's note: " How do I know Itachi?! How is today going to be long? WHY ARE INO AND SAKURA PREPS?... wait they are sluts… "

I'm finally on the last chapter which is super short but omg look at this:

" "Kat, can you come with me please?" Sasori ordered.

I gulped and followed Sasori into the backroom.

"Kat. I read your permanent record. Do you want to tell me anything about your family past or anything at all?"

"Sasori-sensei not to be rude but, please stay out of my life… my father tried to kill me when I was younger but that is all you need to know right now." I stubbornly said. "

her dad tried to kill her???? thats one thing she never bragged to us about in AP class.

No that is not a typo in the title.

This is the description:
" One letter, Six hearts, Unseen tears. Why did he have to deal with this silently? Please no flames. " it's too late for that sweetheart

this is a chack fanfiction from xiaolin showdown, btw

I'm going to post the whole things since it's super short.

I own nothing.

Dear Chase Young,

You were always my hero. You lasted great Wars through out history. You saw people die for pointless things. I die because no one notices a weak, albino child. jack spicer isn't albino You saw what I could do. You saw what I was made of. And yet you did nothing because you knew. You knew I was slowly dying and no one could do anything. Thank you so much for letting me be. Thank you for not killing me for bothering you so much. Chase Young these are my last words. They were ment for the one I admired the most. These breaths are hurting me more and more. I managed to convince my parents to say one final goodbye. Same for the monks. When this letter reaches you, I will be in my bed with my very last breathes. i'M LAUGHING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW To finish my letter, Chase Young, I, Jack Spicer, give you all of my personal belongings. If you do not want anything, give the things to the Xiaolin Monks. My final thank you for trying to help me with my "condition" is that I will be cremated, and it is up to you to decide what to do with me. uh....didn't you just decide you were going to be cremated

From,

Jack Spicer, troubled child genius

Chase Young stood in his study rereading the letter to be sure that it was real. He kept glancing at the light gray urn on the fireplace mantle, with teary eyes. [i ] this sounds in character [/i] His number one fan died a week ago, and yesterday the monks came with the urn. He wouldn't believe that he didn't even know the boy had a disease. He just pushed the boy away because he didn't want to get hurt. Chase knew that Jack would be reincarnated. Everyone was. Chase knew that the urn was going nowhere, but he kept thinking of places where Jack would love to be.

i'm peeing right now ok wow

This was the first story of Kate's that she wanted me to read, and she was going to write me in at one point, but obviously stopped updating.\

Just take a look at some of this mary sue gold:

" She looked at her reflection in disgust. 'Why do I have blue hair? Why do I have these eyes? How do I control weather? Who am I?!' "

necessary emo music reference:

" Her cell started to vibrate and played pain by three days grace."

also:

" "Moshi, Moshi?" she asked. "Hi mom… yeah I'm fine… now? ... alright… see ya soon mom…" "
moshi fucking moshi

Not only is the main character Yuki a mary sue living in the normal world who is beautiful but hated by all and has special powers, but she's also rich. And a weeaboo self-insert.

She took a quick look around her black painted room with red clouds and white outlines, and jumped into her King sized, dark blue bed. King sized bed? are you fucking joking? and you wish Konan and Pein were your real parents? Your parents let you paint yoUR FUCKING WALLS BLACK MY PARENTS WON'T LET ME PAINT MY ROOM BLUE. i'm calling bullshit on the cinderella complex, you're just a spoiled brat.

chapter one ends with this note: " I own nothing…. Yuki is my own character, I took her name from Yukina from Yu-Yu haka show "

oh

Wow....

Spoiler:

Fucking my god, I have met a lot of crazy people, but THIS GIRL, IMPRESSES ME, with her level of sheer difficultness she shows based on the stories I have heard.